she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
