Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
