He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
