If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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