I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
