I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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