: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
