omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
