So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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