At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I will pee on everything he values.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
