I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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