She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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