Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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