1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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