News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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