His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it's great music for shaving your balls
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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