i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
