Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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