he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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