she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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