She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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