we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize