I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
