Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
