I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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