i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
