And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
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Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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