you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize