and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
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The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
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Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize