She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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