I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
