She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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