Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
