Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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