Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize