Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
