Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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