Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize