You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
