I'm really into asian looking animals
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize