i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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