Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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