She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
