He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
