His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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