would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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