For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
pop tarts are not kleenex
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
