your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize