ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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