Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
