yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
