i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
