I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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