I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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