Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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