And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize