How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
