If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
